November 2010
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I am ending this year pleading with the fates, begging the scattered stars to give me a new chapter. I’ve ebbed for years and I want to flow flow flow. I will exhale with my face to the heavens then crashing, rushing forward, fill every crack and crevice and hollow. L’arrivée d’un grand déluge universel.
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“Those To Come” - The Shins
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“Partake of the physical world while it is yours to take, because that is one...”
– Nicole Krauss, Great House
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I’d like to walk around in your mind someday I’d like to walk all over the things you say to me I’d like to run and jump on your solitude I’d like to rearrange your attitude to me You say you just want peace and you’d never hurt anyone You see the end before the beginning has ever begun I would disturb your easy tranquility I’d turn away the sad impossibility of your smile I’d sit there in...
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My kingdom for a bottle of peach schnapps
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I don’t believe in Freud’s subconscious but I fear the parts of myself I can’t control - the hand that calls without my permission, the weight in my chest, & the compulsion to keep loving when it’s hurting. These birds take flight and I can’t call them back. Won’t call them back. Instead, I fling my emptiness into the air and they fly on more fervently.
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Not enough can be said of midnight baths. They’re holding my world together. Lavender, lilac, and soap suds forever.
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Bless the few happy things and even the sweeter sadnesses. Apple cider, a bath at midnight, laying a bird on a soft blanket while it dies.
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“It was November—the month of crimson sunsets, parting birds, deep, sad hymns of...”
– L.M. Montgomery
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